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A VICTORY FOR ANTI-FOOTBALL – MANCHESTER POLICE WATCH WITH CONCERN
By Mal Content
You, dear reader, will accuse me of taking leave of my senses, but Rangers are to be congratulated on being within a ba's hair of the UEFA Cup Final.
Seldom, if ever, has a team that has played 17 matches in Europe in one season, won 7, drawn 6 and lost 4 been within touching distance of a European final. It's an astonishing achievement from mind-numbing mediocrity.
But last night's 0-0 draw between the Huns and Fiorentina in the UEFA Cup semi-final first leg at Ipox gives TFOD a chance of being at the UEFA Cup Final at the City Of Manchester Stadium (thereby activating the SPL extension that will mobilise Celtic's dissent about officially sanctioned cheating into further action).
Indeed, the Great Manchester Police, who banned a Bolton versus Rangers friendly fixture because of fears about Huns fans' behaviour, will be watching next Thursday's UEFA Cup semi-final second leg in Florence with some trepidation.
I am certain Plod will be hoping and praying for a Fiorentina versus Bayern Munich or Zenit St Petersburg UEFA Cup Final in May (the German club last night drew 1-1 at home against the Russian side after Ribery's 18th minute goal was cancelled out by Lucio's 60th minute og) rather than have to police tens of thousands of “Scotland's Shame”.
After last night's Ipox bore-fest, David Weir admitted the Huns are “not pleasing on the eye,” which is an understatement if ever I saw one. The bulimic John Prescott vomiting a Chinese take-away binge over a blootered Amy Winehouse would be a prettier sight than what was witnessed last night at the Death Star.
The 0-0 bore-fest was a triumph for Walter Smith's tactics, or the Wattienaccio or Anti-Football, as seldom have I ever witnessed a home side (the Huns) so determined to record a goal-less draw and so resiliently not even attempting to win the match.
The game was by and large played in Rangers' half of the pitch, Fiorentina totally dominated but could not find a breakthrough against ten men behind the ball boys. Meanwhile the only indicator the Huns were actually the home side came when the Huns fans' songs of imperialism and religious hatred could be heard on the rare occasions that TFOD ventured across the halfway line.
Do I envy the Huns' close proximity to the UEFA Cup Final? Undoubtedly, yes. Do I envy the Wattienaccio of Anti-Football? Absolutely not. The Huns would get the game banned. No wonder Ipox did not sell out last night.
Forza Viola, put an end to Anti-Football and remove ugliness from the beautiful game.
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