KTF Reviews

TURNSTILE FODDER ARE WE

In the unlikely event you have not noticed, Timdom has another method of spending its green and white dollars, in the guise of the soon-to-be launched Celtic TV.

Available via Setanta, the monthly subscription for Celtic TV is a paltry £6.99 and all you need do is telephone 08700 50 69 70 to subscribe. Easy-peasy!

Alternatively, you can subscribe to Celtic TV AND Setanta's ‘SPL Live' channel for £15.99 per month, and Keep The Faith will have more to say about Setanta's ‘SPL Live' soon (once our legal department has checked the copy).

Celtic TV promises three hours of Celtic programming, Monday to Friday, with the additional bonus of Celtic's SPL matches being screened on a delayed basis on the Monday evenings. Daily team updates, news and exclusive interviews direct from Celtic Park are also promised, as well as coverage of our Wee Hoops.

Sounds ideal – but will it be any good? Will it be alright on the night?

Well, Sunday afternoon provided a glimpse of Celtic TV's ‘brave new world' and it must be said, the jury is out!

The Fulham versus Celtic match was of course available on Setanta on a pay-per-view basis for £7.99, though this was, in reality, a Celtic TV production. So, how did it go?

Good, atrociously bad and indifferent is the answer!

As might have been anticipated, the biggest balls-up from the Celtic TV production team came in the shape of those nasty, little blue gremlins, or technical glitches, as they are known in the trade. You know the sort: the programme starts late (1.47pm and not 1.45pm as promised); there is NO musical or verbal introduction, but instead there is an immediate and sudden (caught us all by surprise) interview with Martin O'Neill (arguably THE most important facet of the programme, though Timdom might have missed it and it was not repeated, which is unforgivable); repeatedly the sound went haywire when there was to be a link-up with the trackside reporter, Scott Booth AND the camera missed John Hartson's shot hitting the back of the net in the eighth minute, such was the lousy angle the cameraman and producer managed to create. Memories of STV of yesteryear!

But what of the personnel employed by Celtic TV? Ally Begg, the presenter, looks to be competent enough, though it must be said that he is yet another TV presenting clone. There must be a bio-factory somewhere that churns these blemish-free faces out for television purposes. Begg's Celtic credentials are yet to be established.

Expert studio analysis was provided by Billy McNeill, and if Celtic TV have any sense they will immediately secure Caesar on a long-term and lucrative contract, because if ever there was a highly valued Celtic opinion-giver, then Billy McNeill is it!

RESPECT TO THE LEGEND.

The trackside reporter, Scott Booth, was eager enough, though one was left with the distinct impression that the honest journeyman footballer has MUCH to learn. Perhaps lessons from Andy Walker might be applicable. Or better still, HIRE ANDY WALKER!

From the commentary gantry came the ever-professional words of Jock Brown. Whatever your personal feelings about Jock and his brief though controversial Celtic tenure as General Manager, there is no escaping his abilities behind the cameras. Just stay behind the cameras, Jock. And another piece of advice: It is not necessary to comment that Aiden McGeady has chosen Ireland over Scotland as if this is some form of treason! The Bhoy is Irish. End of story!

Co-commentary came from the knowledgeable and enthusiastic Billy Stark – what joy in comparison to a summer of Mark Lawrenson and Sir Booby Robson and what an improvement on Sandy ‘two big men going for the ball' Clark. Billy Stark is Premier League to Sandy's Lanarkshire Bovver Boot Billy Boys!

So, all in all, a mixed bag, though with the undoubted potential to be a goody bag and not an unlucky dip.

Will we buy Celtic TV? Of course we bloody will – and ‘they' know it! It's Celtic after all.

Turnstile fodder are we!